You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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