Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
