you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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