I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
