I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
