p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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