I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
