Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
