I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm always down for nudity.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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