Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
