Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
