I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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