Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
