i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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