just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
