So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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