Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
