i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She's the barista slut.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
