No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
