i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
