hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
