Is it because I queefed?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
