this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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