16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
