You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
