haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
