Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
