the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
