Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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