So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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