Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
NoShamevember. You game?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
