I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
