in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
