O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When did angry sex become our thing?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
