why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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