Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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