Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
