How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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