why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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