Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
