the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
