So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
