Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
send nudes
from the living room?
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