We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
