Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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