Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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