9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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