Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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