i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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