you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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