guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
