people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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